If I Were a Poor Black Kid

CBS: Obama on the Economy

Forbes: If I Were A Poor Black Kid

A Muscular Empathy

I'm not sure if it sounds silly or condescending, but as a Black person... I kind of contemplate the, "If I Were a Poor Black Kid" scenario to myself all of the time. It's almost impossible to address everything in a single blog entry. 

To be successful and Black in America, in my opinion, takes a hell of a lot of luck. Once you have a broad range of lucky conditions... then you have to work your ass off. Since I studied undergrad at the University of Michigan between the Supreme Court Cases of 2003 and the transfer of the Wardell Connerly movement to Michigan in 2006, I've been thinking a lot about what it takes for a Black child... especially a broke Black child. 

One of the things that the Forbes article doesn't account for is every Black person in America, whether they are conservative or liberal, knows that you any Black person has to learn everything twice. You have learn everything that is on the surface which Marks addresses and then you have to learn what it means when you are black. (Then, if you are a woman you have to learn how to navigate patriarchy and racial issues).  It is extremely difficult to learn this concept by yourself. It's damn near impossible. Basically, in addition to learning the academics you have to learn 1. how to have white teachers, 2. how to have white classmates, 3. how to be a token in networking situations, 4. how to be a token in corporate or academic situations, 5. how to have a drink with a bunch of white folks in academic or corporate situations... I haven't really found any book on it. It really takes a Black person in academia or a Black person in corporate America to say, "Look, this is how everything really works."

1. Grades. A lot of people undereducate Black children. Even if you have the best grades... it's hard to compete with someone who is being taught 2-4 levels ahead of you. For instance, when I entered U of M wanting to be a physics major... I realized that many of the white folks had already completed Calculus 2 (or AP Calculus BC) and Differential Equations. On the other hand, many of the Black students from Detroit did not come from schools where AP Calculus was available... let alone Intergral Calculus or above. 

So even if you get the best grades in Trigonometry or Algebra... How do you compete with someone the same age who has already been taught so much more? 

2. Libraries. Many libraries close by 7pm. If you are lucky you might be able to find a nearby university that stays open until 12. But if your not lucky... then what? Many suburbs have internet cafes... but inner cities don't. And even if they did, you wouldn't have the money to pay for them. 

3. Even if you get a computer... How in the world would you pay for internet? You need credit, good credit in order to buy the internet on contract. And so far they don't have prepaid internet services. 

Perhaps you can go to McDonalds, but they don't have any sockets to actually plug in your lap top.

4. And if you are an inner city black kid... There just so much that you won't be exposed to... Your music departments will be cut. You won't learn an instrument until you get to high school because the middle school programs are obsolete. So how do you win a scholarship for music when you've only been playing for 4 years... versus a person with private lessons who has been playing since they were 4 years old? 

You won't have a swim team, or a lacrosse team, or a soccer team, or a hockey team. You might have a track team that may or may not have a track. 

5. And what will you eat. A person's diet has a huge effect on their long-term brain development. Most inner cities don't have very many health food stores... And most of the grocery stores in the cities barely carry produce. I don't know. 

And that's just the basics. I don't know anything about going to schools where there are metal detectors. And actually partial police departments based on school grounds. I don't know anything about going to school where there are active gangs. Sometimes folks can't just get "good grades". 

I just shake my head. I don't know what a broke kid could do. Or should do. 

A year ago, I read an article about a young Black man who was valedictorian of his high school. It was a congratulatory article, praising the young man for going to college in spite of all of the odds. But at the end of the article, it mentioned that the young man was going to community college! I was so furious! If was was valedictorian, with decent scores... and he went through everything the article mentioned. I think he should have had a full ride to Harvard, Stanford, Michigan or Wharton... There's no way in the world he should have been going to a community college. 

But that would take a guidance counselor to say, "hey-- you've gone through enough... there's money out there. Here, apply to Harvard. Here, apply to Northwestern. Oberlin." Whatever. 

Part of the problem when your Black... is just having enough people tell you that you really can compete with White folks. Really.

Everyday, I'm reminded of how priveleged I have been a Black middle class lady. I didn't have a car, or name brand clothes... But I definitely had one of the best educations a Black person could have in America.

What would I do if I was a poor Black kid?

1. Girl Scouts/Boy Scouts

2. Jr. Achievement

3. Free Sports Teams

4. Free or Cheap Private Lessons for a Musical Instrument

5. The smartest, coolest, most-down-to earth Black frieends I could find in the city

6. maybe Jack and Jill parties (to learn how to network with Black folks)

7. Church (maybe that should have been number one)

8. A mentor or two or three or four (who are black)

9. And the most important thing is summer programs. Every major college has summer programs for people of color or people without the most money... Sometimes they are absolutely free.

10. A lot of inner city Black schools won't let you take college courses while your in high school, but a lot of white schools will. I guess if I was broke I would try like hell to take college courses while I was in high school. Even if I was just auditing and couldn't get credit...

Its really hard to know what you don't know. I don't know how I would have known about summer programs  1. if I didn't have sibling who went to college before me, 2. if I didn't have Black friends going to the programs, 3. If I didn't have a guidance counselor who knows.

I don't have any real answers. In some ways, I'm still trying to figure out what I would do (or will do) as a poor Black parent. 

No More Sheets

It is impossible to read Juanita Bynum's No More Sheets and not be honest with one's self. For every woman who is walking in her relationship with God, with Christ, she must acknowledge that sex was designed for pleasure within a marriage.

Bynum has written an honest challenge for women to give up the sheets until she finds a man who is devoted enough to commit to her before God. The twelve year old church girl who vowed to keep her virginity before she even knew what sex was believes this is not only possible, but mandatory; however, the single mother, the lonesome woman and the skeptic inside of me believes this is a tall order.

Luckily, I have known Black women who in the 21st century were able to save themselves until marriage. Without actual proof, I'd call Bynum a lie. But realistically, I know its possible. Perhaps my negativity comes from reading, Is Marriage for White People a few days before reading No More Sheets.

Black women are a religious and devoted people. After reading Banks account in Is Marriage that not only are 70% of Black women unmarried but at least 30% will never do so. I can't help but wonder, and I always have if I'm in the 30% that will get lucky or the 30% that will never come close. And so honestly by the Law, if every Black woman was completely perfect seven out of every ten adult Black women would not be having any sex at all.

Although Bynum doesn't address any issues that particularly affect Black women, she does acknowledge the difficulty of all women to commit to celibacy until marriage or re-marriage. In spite of the difficulties, Bynum reminds that even non-penetration simply leads to arousal... which may ultimately invite sex. And, even if masturbation is not explicitly outlawed in Bible, many religious scholars agree that there is nothing about masturbation that glorifies God.

Bynum's book is an excellent guide to why sex is worth waiting once you are an adult and especially after you've been married before. She gives detailed explanations from the scripture and from example on how sex outside of God can hinder your spiritual relationship with Him.
Bynum's conclusion is that we [all women] are not married because we are not ever truly single. Based off of my experience and observation of Millennial women, the author is irrefutably correct. For me, the one thing that Bynum never addresses is, Is your faith in God so strong that you can commit to celibacy even if no wedding day ever comes? Bynum's book ends on the positive with the expectation of an equally yoked prince Charming and a few bits of advice for Christian women on their spiritual walk. However, any advice or recommendations on how to remain celibate for one's entire adult life, I would have to search elsewhere for answers.

The Honor Code

Perhaps family discussions at my house are a bit strage. With my brother's graduate degree in Philosophy and I with my bachelors, one of our constant conversations is the need for a moral revolution. William's argument is that the rate of growth of human morality has always been significantly slower than the rate of technoloigical advancement. Kwame Anthony Appiah chooses to examine the possibility of a Moral Revolution first by examinig how technological revolutions take place.

While I enjoyed reading Appiah's work, I disagreed that there has ever been a moral revolution thus far in human history. The greatest illusion of moral progress was Appiah's example of the abolition of human trading. In Europe, as well as America, the abolition of slaver was financially  driven. Although a moral resolution eventually occurred (after hundreds of years), it was not because of the change of morality of Americans or Europeans.

Appiah is correct. There needs to be a moral revolution. Now. However, looking to the past may not be the best way to incite a moral uprising.

I would recommend reading the Honor Code to understand the need for morality, to learn a bit about formal, academic philosophy and to determine if you agree with Appiah's explanation of how moral revolutions happen.

Is Marriage for White People

Every black man I know hates this discussion. My father tells me, "It doesn't matter if all black men are 'dogs'.' How many do you need? You only need one man. You can't tell me of all the men in the world there is not one." As a child, I heard him say this to every single woman in my family. As a child, I believed him. As an adult, I realize what that even if the woman only needs one man strange things happen when the man has the world at his disposal.

My father wouldn't believe it as a man with many options (even in his older years); he would not understand. Thus, I am delighted that the book Is Marriage for White People was written by a man. I am certain that if a Black woman had written the exact words she would be accused of bad mouthing Black men, over exaggerating the obvious or being the stereotypical angry Black woman.

Perhaps Banks should have titled his work Is Marriage for White Women. He admits that while the problem of Black women is too few choices, the problem of the Black middle class or upper class man is too many. Banks is a thorough expert on the Black middle class. However, if he spent any time with the Black working class he would realize that even Black men who are not middle class earners have the upper hand. Contrary to what he says, incarceration nor underemployment prevents Black men's options to marry. The fact that Banks doesn't give Black men who aren't in the middle class enough credit is the primary fault of the book.

I thoroughly enjoyed Is marriage for White People [Women]. Reading the stories of the women cited in the book was like talking to old friends or older mentors. The primary goal of the book seems to be 'Should Black women marry men who are not Black.' The secondary goal is, 'Are black women even desirable to anyone besides Black men?' And the unfortunate understatement is are Black women desirable to Black men, Dyson aside.

Whether you agree with Banks' conclusions or not, and I do, Is Marriage for White People [Women] is well worth the read.