No More Sheets

It is impossible to read Juanita Bynum's No More Sheets and not be honest with one's self. For every woman who is walking in her relationship with God, with Christ, she must acknowledge that sex was designed for pleasure within a marriage.

Bynum has written an honest challenge for women to give up the sheets until she finds a man who is devoted enough to commit to her before God. The twelve year old church girl who vowed to keep her virginity before she even knew what sex was believes this is not only possible, but mandatory; however, the single mother, the lonesome woman and the skeptic inside of me believes this is a tall order.

Luckily, I have known Black women who in the 21st century were able to save themselves until marriage. Without actual proof, I'd call Bynum a lie. But realistically, I know its possible. Perhaps my negativity comes from reading, Is Marriage for White People a few days before reading No More Sheets.

Black women are a religious and devoted people. After reading Banks account in Is Marriage that not only are 70% of Black women unmarried but at least 30% will never do so. I can't help but wonder, and I always have if I'm in the 30% that will get lucky or the 30% that will never come close. And so honestly by the Law, if every Black woman was completely perfect seven out of every ten adult Black women would not be having any sex at all.

Although Bynum doesn't address any issues that particularly affect Black women, she does acknowledge the difficulty of all women to commit to celibacy until marriage or re-marriage. In spite of the difficulties, Bynum reminds that even non-penetration simply leads to arousal... which may ultimately invite sex. And, even if masturbation is not explicitly outlawed in Bible, many religious scholars agree that there is nothing about masturbation that glorifies God.

Bynum's book is an excellent guide to why sex is worth waiting once you are an adult and especially after you've been married before. She gives detailed explanations from the scripture and from example on how sex outside of God can hinder your spiritual relationship with Him.
Bynum's conclusion is that we [all women] are not married because we are not ever truly single. Based off of my experience and observation of Millennial women, the author is irrefutably correct. For me, the one thing that Bynum never addresses is, Is your faith in God so strong that you can commit to celibacy even if no wedding day ever comes? Bynum's book ends on the positive with the expectation of an equally yoked prince Charming and a few bits of advice for Christian women on their spiritual walk. However, any advice or recommendations on how to remain celibate for one's entire adult life, I would have to search elsewhere for answers.