23. Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

23. Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey

Now, I always have loved Harvey, grew up watching him on television. But, I must admit, I have been procrastinating reading his book. I saw it every single time I went to the bookstore. And considering that I frequent shops at least twice per week, I've passed Harvey's book quite a lot.

I hesitated, mainly because I was not ready to be told about myself. I wasn't ready for the call out.

But, when Harvey visited Detroit, I figured it was time to push aside my ego, and read what he has to say.

I was not disappointed. I don't think Harvey has ever let me down. There wasn't a single line in the entire book which I disagreed with.

I have my own theories about Black men and Black women. I have a huge family with hundred and hundreds of people... And I have been snooping, watching and listening to Black folks all of my life. One theory that I have is the "Wifey-type" versus the expendables (one day, I'll think of a better word). Low and behold, Harvey agrees. Harvey has dedicated an entire chapter to, "Sports Fish vs. Keepers".

I cried like a baby in Boston Market, random I know, while reading this chapter. I realized that right now I'm not the wifey-type, not the keeper. And yet, I'm not a sports-fish neither. But men, being who they are, if you aren't a wifey-type, if you aren't a keeper... they automatically treat you and will attempt to make you into their sporting fish, their plaything, their expendable sex object.

I cried like a baby. I had to put the book down for a week. I finished the book this week, instead.

This book offered insight into the mind of a Black man (I think Black men are slightly different from other men... and I think Black women are significantly different form other women... Not better not, worse, but Black folk are different.)

I realized that I need to drastically re-write my first story. It is indeed a story of Black men, Black male youth, Black manhood. I cannot write a story about men ... and have them making decisions as a woman would make them. Nobody would read it. Nobody would see it. Because ultimately, nobody would believe it.

I loved Harvey's book. It is helping me currently in my life, figure out how in the hell I got into the trap that I am in. Harvey made a chapter just for me, "Strong, Independent-- and Lonely-- Women". And, Harvey is helping me re-write my first novel/screenplay.

I honestly think that all Black women should read this book, a few times. It doesn't matter how young or old we are at the time. This book could save a few heartaches.

And lord knows, Black women don't need any unnecessary heartbreaks. Black women have a hard enough time as it is...